Brandon Padier's "Kintsugi" is a Celebration of Growth and Resilience

Brandon Padier did not anticipate encountering his bandmate Cooper Greenberg at Double Standard, Houston Street’s chicest tavern, at 2 p.m. on a Monday. Padier had spent that morning engaging in his customary rituals of reading, journaling, and toiling through a stack of emails (what he refers to as “the less fun aspect of music”) before meeting his parents for lunch and later stopping at the bar for a drink. The two musicians exchange greetings and pleasantries before Greenberg is reunited with his party. Padier orders an Army Navy, a gin based cocktail comprising orgeat, bitters and lemon juice, garnished with a slice of orange– his favorite drink for its ability to “cut regardless of the season.”

Despite Padier’s loyalty to his favorite beverage and his routine schedule, he considers himself an adventurous person open to new experiences and shifts in perspectives. This openness is evident in the singer-songwriter’s fourth studio album, Kintsugi, released last month. It marks the first time Padier is accompanied by his backing band Black Gold and his first release on vinyl. “Kintsugi” refers to the Japanese technique of mending broken pottery with gold, embracing imperfections to create something more meaningful and valuable. Indicative of the title, this album chronicles Padier’s introspective journey from grief to growth, exploring the transformative nature of moving from despondency to hope and beauty.

As a toddler, Padier recalls how his mother once found him entranced, composing melodies on an elephant shaped Fisher Price piano. It was then that she decided to enroll him in music classes.

Although he grew up admiring Elvis Presley, it was Bob Dylan’s “Mr. Tambourine Man” that marked the inception of his musical identity and ignited the flame of songwriting within him. “That was the first thing that really broke my brain in half in terms of songwriting,” he said.

His musical influences, which also includes the likes of Led Zeppelin and The Beatles, contribute to the ever-evolving soundscape of his songs. Under epiphanic lyrics, guitar lines tease and knit into one another encompassing elements of country, rock, pop, jazz, blues, and folk while Padier’s drawled vocals deliver lyrical epochal life lessons with each album he releases. Rejecting strict genre labels, especially Country, he leans towards the term "cosmic American music," first coined by Gram Parsons during his time with The Birds and the Flying Burrito Brothers.

“I like to think that I'm a person that contains multitudes,” he reflects. “For a very long time I used to say that, "all I am is music." He never liked the way that sounded though. He felt it was too conceited and not entirely true.

At the core of Padier's being lies a profound appreciation for the arts, a sentiment that goes beyond his deep connection to music. “I love music. Most of my life revolves around it in some way or another. Whether it's playing it, making it, listening to it, learning about it. But I love all the arts.”

Besides music, Padier draws inspiration from literature, with favorites such as Jack Kerouac’s On The Road, Stephen King’s The Shining, and works by Texas authors Larry McMurtry and Cormac McCarthy. He has a fondness for classic horror movies, traveling to unfamiliar places, acquiring knowledge and expanding his understanding, appreciating diverse foods, and acquainting himself with various people, dogs and animals.

“For better or worse. I long for the experience.”

It is that longing that led Padier to pursue music full time in 2020, breaking free from a coffee-centric career that, while familiar, eventually lacked joy. Despite the challenges posed by the pandemic, Padier remained resilient, engaging with his audience through weekly online streams, maintaining his presence in the local music community, joining the country cover supergroup The Texases and releasing albums as a soloist until the formation of Black Gold in 2021.

“I love playing in a band. I always wanted to,” he said. The first couple of records he made featured himself playing all the instruments on, but realistically he knew he couldn't replicate that live. Within Black Gold, Padier found the perfect synergy of musicians who not only possessed technical prowess but were also open to exploration and spontaneity on stage.

“I kind of stumbled upon the perfect pairing of musicians that were both good hangs and great musicians and weren't afraid to get weird.”

Comprising Cameron Condreay on drums, Jordan Stern on pedal steel, Griffin Young on bass, and his friend Cooper Greenberg of Favorite Son on guitar, Black Gold’s chemistry became the driving force behind the band's adaptability, improvisation, and unique experiences both in recording and during live shows. This collaborative spirit aligns with Padier's belief in the power of a band constantly on its toes and translating that energy into an engaging performance.

The name "Black Gold" summarizes the essence of the band's sound and its Texan roots. “I love evoking Texas. For all of its issues, I do love the state, at least the state as an idea, and the state as the environment, natural environment that exists here. And the people pushing for good, not the bullshit.”

The name was brought about by the beginning of the Beverly Hillbillies show when Paul found oil, “black gold, Texas tea.” It’s flammable, electrifying, and rooted in the iconography of Texas, eliciting images of oil fields and derricks. It encapsulates Padier's intention to create a jam band with a Texas flavor.

Padier chuckles and says “The slogan I have for us is "sloe and low, down home, rock and roll from San Antone".

Apart from the addition of a band, Kintsugi is Padier's most hopeful album yet. It’s a merciful tonal whiplash from Padier’s love-lorn and maudlin album, Years in the Wilderness which explored feelings of disillusion and spiritual struggle following his divorce. While Kintsugi touches on longing and mourning, it also takes the listener on a journey celebrating growth and revival. As the title explains, Padier was grappling with the fragments of his brokenness, but like the art of Japanese pottery that must be refired, he had to re-experience the hurt to solder himself back together in gold, incorporating lessons he’s learned to become a truer version of himself.

“It's a celebration of finding beauty in the broken pieces of yourself.”

Looking back he contemplates, “growth is hard and getting hurt, whether it's emotionally or otherwise, is hard and to be able to come back from places like that and feelings like that is worth celebrating and worth praising.” In his case, he calls it a “herculean feat.”

The first single “Still Learning” aligns itself the most to that theme of growth. Full of self-mythology and painted-on significance, it presents Padier as a reawakened zombie that, like Lazarus resurrected from the tomb, is learning to walk and love again, picking up treasures along the way like Quixote on a quest.

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While Padier prefers to keep his experiences somewhat vague in order to write songs with a universal grasp, he confesses that there are songs where he had to reconcile with his past, often questioning the circumstances that led him into darkness. He wrote “Population, One” after another terminal relationship and confesses some of the enigmatic questions he had that inspired the song.

“Are these relationships ending because I'm unlovable? Are they ending because I'm self sabotaging them for my creative use? Are my walls too high or too thick that you're unable to break through? Or are you stopping before you get to the real heart of me?”

“King of the Mean Streets” and “Violent Man” are both upbeat songs that are as hook-filled as they are heartrending, serving as cautionary tales of the harm done when one isolates themselves and refuses to change their mindset or behavior, succumbing to the darkness of the night.

Closing out Padier’s ceramic masterpiece is “In Spite of Yourself.” It ruminates on the proliferation of his self-worth from a languishing cynic in “Love Is Hell” to the arduous journey onward. The chorus repeats “no hooks have stayed for you to drag me away,” iterating how impenetrable Padier’s determination is to not turn back on his progress.

“Everyone experiences life and experiences music so differently, but I hope that if they've gone through a period of growth or a period of burden and into growth I hope that the songs that I write resonate with them,” he says.

Regarding his songwriting process, Padier describes it as “a very workman-like process and also intrinsically magical.” The commitment to consistently show up and work on songs, even if not every attempt results in a finished product, is important to him. Waking up every morning with an eager disposition to find inspiration in the mundane, in books, in songs, in art, in walks and in experiences helps. The willingness to be unafraid and borrow ideas from other artists, coupled with a belief in the importance of living offline and in the moment, underscores his dynamic and thoughtful approach to songwriting.

While lyrics are essential to Padier, he acknowledges that not everyone is as invested into them as he is. “I'm not, I guess, ignorant enough to assume or presume that everyone is as deep into lyrics as I am although I put a lot of care into them,” he says. “I know not everyone is as interested so I hope that the music reaches them in a way that they find interesting and cool and different from a lot of stuff that's out right now.”

Apart from the members of Black Gold, Padier sought input and guidance from some of his friends to help put the record together. Isa Paillao of Chavela lended some background vocals to four of the tracks on Kintsugi, including “Phantom Limb.” Studio E owner and sound engineer Brant Sankey, whom Padier calls a “beautiful guiding light,” co-produced the album and helped with some lyrical arrangements.

“I was like, ‘why not make this as collaborative as possible and bring in some of my friends who are some of my favorite musicians in the world, much less San Antonio, and let's craft something really special that we can share between all of us,’” he said.

Padier didn’t want to squander the efforts of those who came together for the record, so for the first time ever, he chose to release it on vinyl. He enlisted the help of local illustrator Meghan Fest to design a minimalist cover, influenced by the simplicity of Dire Strait’s album covers.

Possibly better than listening to the album on vinyl is experiencing Black Gold live, lest we forget that Black Gold stemmed from the desire to bring the music created in the studio to a live audience. “There's a line in the movie ‘Heat’ where one of the guys says "the action is the juice." So that's what I like to say about black gold live shows like, “The action is the juice at a black gold show,” Padier says. Their shows are characterized by extended, jammed-out moments, showcasing the band's improvisational skills and the joy they find in playing together. They blend elements of the old-school classics with a fresh, modern sound.

Nothing is definite yet, but Padier’s plans include taking Black Gold's music to various regions, connecting with listeners, and potentially exploring different projects in the future. He expresses a desire to tour Kintsugi beyond Texas, reaching audiences in places, such as Colorado, New Mexico, California and Louisiana.

“I was talking to a friend about that and they were telling me ‘revel in this one for a little bit. It's okay, it's okay to do that and be proud of what you made by not having to rush to the next thing.”

While there is a natural inclination to think about the next record, there's a conscious effort to relish in his ongoing achievements and bask in life’s charming details: reading a good book, having lunch with parents and unexpectedly running into friends at happy hour on a Monday afternoon.

Listen to Kintsugi on Spotify, Apple Music, and Bandcamp and catch Brandon Padier live at Blayne’s Bar on February 17.

Here are some photos from Kintsugi’s release show at the Lonesome Rose!